A Personal Story

Submitted: July 19, 2000

Name: Mel
Age: 29
Pregnancy test: yes. positive.
Resolution: Clinical Abortion

What was the date of the first day of your last menstrual period? 5/8/00
Do you know the date of fertilizing intercourse? What was it? On our Honeymoon, on a Wednesday, date uncertain. Knew as soon as it happened.
What was the date you were expecting menstruation? The week after we got back, I'm not what you'd call regular.

How was the pregnancy ended? Clinical abortion

Were you successful in using the herbs? Not used, didnít know about them at the time.

Did you have a pregnancy test? What was the result? and when was it taken?
Yes positive, 2nd Wednesday in July (if you haven't noticed, if I don't note it on the calendar, I don't remember. And for obvious reasons these dates are NOT on my calendar.

Is this your first pregnancy? NO

Were you using birth control? Yes, but we were on our honeymoon, things tend to get carried away :) So for this one time, NO.
What kind/method of birth control/contraception were you using? Do you know how/why it failed? Condom, it wasn't on.

I'm writing this, and hoping to have it posted because I had such a terrible experience with the clinical abortion. I had no idea that herbal remedies were viable at the time.

Since the abortion I have been surfing the net to find out about aftereffects and came across your site. I cannot thank you enough. I feel that IF something terrible (and to me being pregnant was terrible) were to happen again I would not have to undergo the horror I experienced. Or at least, I have some options and can feel less panic.

When I first suspected I was pregnant I was horrified. I have an innate and terrible fear of doctors, nurses and western medicine. I have been abused by doctors so much that only one doctor can even get an accurate blood pressure reading on me. I have fibromyalgia and was so misdiagnosed (at one point the doctor actually wanted to CUT OFF MY LEG) and ridiculed (to the point where I was sent to a shrink for the pain in my joints) that I can barely contemplate yearly checkups. If it weren't for the fact that my pediatrician who saw me as a child was willing to learn new skills and continue to see me (she understands only too well, she sent me to the doc that wanted to chop off my leg) I wouldn't go but once a year. I'm telling you all this so you realize my terror and can take some of this w/a grain of salt. But most (90%) of what I will relate has nothing to do w/my fear of medical people.

So I'm scared beyond fear of death. I was terrified of telling my husband. We put off our honeymoon to afford our dream destination and had been married 6 months. He kicks around the idea of kids every once in a while. So I was petrified that he would want me to continue the pregnancy.

To me this was NOT an option.

1) We'd only been married 6 months. We were too new together to add the stress of a child to the marriage. We'd only known each other 1 year and 8 months. (Love at first sight, for both of us)

2) If allowed adequate time to prepare and time to "shop" for a doc, I can bear to have them treat me. I had no time to prepare, and less time to shop. So the medical side of child birth was terribly frightening to me.

Thank god, as always, we were on the same wave length. He didn't really know of my fear of doctors (I go to my doctor 4 or 5 times a year to check on the fibromyalgia) but he did agree we were not ready for this.

I checked on RU 486 as I did not want a surgical abortion. You can't get it in the state in which I live. Bummer. So I scheduled a surgical abortion.

I had a terrible time getting off work for just the morning. My boss kept insisting on knowing exactly why I needed my personal day.

Also, I was having heavy and terrible symptoms. If you are planning on having an abortion I have heard that marijuana does wonders for nausea. I have a friend in Oregon that swears by it. Nothing could help the rest of it. Full tender breast, light nasty weird cramps. Ugh.

My husband went with me to the clinic. Which is good, cause I don't know if I could have stayed otherwise. I was given forms to fill out. No problem. I returned them in 5 minutes. I waited for 2 1/2 hours before they did the blood work and pregnancy test. Meanwhile, there is a large waiting room FULL of people to stare at me. Since the clinic also does prenatal care, some the staring ones where very pregnant. Not the atmosphere one would want for this sort of thing. Not to mention the UPS guy, the mailman, one guy asking for directions somewhere else (pro-lifer maybe? I was worried about a bomb or something) and a couple of drug wholesalers. Luckily, I didn't know anybody. And I just hope they didn't know me!

Finally after 3 hours I'm called back for the "counseling" session. They tried to make me go alone. Which I wasn't about to do. My husband was the only thing preventing me from having a total breakdown at this point and they wanted to separate us! The "counseling" session was very rude. Why had I gotten pregnant? Didn't I know anything? Why wasn't I on the pill? (I tried, it makes me just nauseous enough that if I eat, it goes away. Needless to say I ballooned up to a size 18! Now back to a 12 juniors.) Why wouldn't I try it again? Did I want the shot? (Tried that too, bled for three weeks straight at which time I quite taken the pills. My doc made me try it in pill form first thank goodness) Why wouldn't I try that again? What about the implants?

This went on till my husband put a stop to it. "Get off the subject. She doesn't need this right now. We know what we are doing. It was our HONEYMOON!"

Then, they wanted me to fill out a form to be sent to the government. NO THANK YOU. I refused. She persisted. My husband put an end to this one too. "She will not. End of question."

When the actual abortion got underway they injected my cervix with lidocaine (i believe). This HURT. This was a pain I had NEVER EVEN IMAGINED! And I have a lot of pain every day. They let my lay in the stirrups for about 2 minutes and then asked if I had any numbness in my mouth or dizziness. I didn't. I say the doctor shake her head and the counselor said, "Well, those are BAD side effects." I now know that meant the lidocaine DID NOT WORK! They proceeded with the abortion. How I got through it I'll never know. I believe that my husband (who insisted on being with me throughout) took from me some of my pain and gave to me his strength. Cause otherwise, I wouldn't have made it.

After the abortion they forcibly separated us. Claiming that he had to respect the privacy of other women in the recovery room. He offered to pay extra to allow me to have a private room, no dice. (By the way, this was NOT mentioned before. I was to be with my support person at ALL times. That is what they said.) Once in the recovery room the nurse practitioner there started in on me about the Pill again! And they wouldn't let me leave. They tried to make me stay longer than 15 minutes. I tried to explain that there was no way I was gonna recover in there with someone I didn't like much at this point. One lecture too many. My counselor, who was a decent sort even if she did have to read the company line, got called away and I was left with the nurse who kept pushing Pill literature under my nose. Thank God, she was called away too, and I scrammed.

So the upshot is, I don't like doctors. I freely admit that. But NO ONE should be subjected to repeated lectures about a form of birth control that they have tried, and found not to suit them. And to continue w/o telling me that the local had failed! They could have offered me alternatives. Such as scheduling it somewhere else with general.

Please, please, please, if you are considering a surgical abortion. Ask a lot of questions. Ask many, many questions. I think my story should give you some to ask. Don't for any reason NOT have an abortion because of what I have written. I just want to warn others the pain and degradation they may experience if they don't ask. Or, as in my case, you only have one option close by.

Is there anything you would have done differently? I would have found your site. Or failing that, would have taken two to three vacation days and gone farther afield. I would have gone to a major metropolitan area and found the right place for me.

Sometimes traveling further away to get better medical care is better inspire of the inconvenience. And as unpleasant as abortion is, not every woman has such a traumatic experience. Educate yourself as much as possible, know what your options are, and if you donít like to looks of them, try to find another option. Abortion is not a painless process most of the time, but childbirth is way more intense than having an abortion.

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