A Personal Story

Submitted: July 16, 2004

Shared by: Alexis
Age: 25
Weight: 61kg (125 lbs.)
Do you smoke tobacco? no
Where are you from? What country? AUSTRALIA

Did you have a pregnancy test? Yes
When was it taken? Friday 18 June 2004 and Saturday 19 June. Final test by abortion clinic on Thurs 15 July
What was the result. Positive (all)

How was the pregnancy ended? Clinical abortion
Were you successful in using the herbs? I feel the herbs were very successful in helping us to find peace and come to terms with the pregnancy, however, they did not bring on the abortion we hoped for.

Would you try herbs again, or recommend them to a friend in the same situation? Yes

Is this your first pregnancy? Yes

Do you know the date of fertilizing intercourse? What was it? I think June 2nd - my partner withdrew before ejaculation, however we had both had a few drinks that night and were not feeling completely "on the ball"
What was the date you were expecting menstruation? 15 June
How long do your cycles usually run? varying
Do you cycle regularly or irregularly? not to the day, but fairly regular.

Week 2:Andrographis, Hydrastis, Thuja and ? started 19 June for approx 5 days (we had not completely decided at this stage so I was not very diligent) - I decided not to continue with this mix as I wanted to bring about bleeding only without inducing toxicity of the fetus (still getting clued in). I chewed aloe plant 19 June. I ate parsley daily for about 4-5 days until I'd really had enough.

Approx 5ml Blue cohosh tincture was taken average 3 times/day for about 5 days at about 2- 3 weeks. I felt nauseus each time and my body did not want to take them. This is too high a dose, I now see. Again, we were unclear as to whether we would complete the pregnancy or not. Pennyroyal tea was started at about 3-4 weeks with Yarrow added occasionally. I had average 2 cups/day for approx 7 days (from about 4 weeks).

Week 3-4: Vitamin C (1/2 tsp powder) and 12 drops each of Dong quai and Blue cohosh tinctures taken 3-4 times daily for approx 7 days. I continued with Pennyroyal and Yarrow tea - 2 cups daily. We made our decision final and clear on Saturday 3 July (almost exactly 1mth after conception) I ate half a small pineapple after about 7 days of this herb mix (4.5 wks) and developed cracks at the sides of my mouth that are still here a couple of days later. I stopped taking the herbs - unsure whether this was a sign of irritated mucous membranes/toxicity.

Wk5: Tansy tincture - 10 drops taken every 2 hrs (even through the night) for 5.5 days. Pennyroyal and Fresh Rue tea 3 times per day.

How many weeks pregnant were you when the herbs were started? 2 weeks

What was the date the pregnancy was terminated? 15 July

Were you using birth control? No
What kind/method of birth control/contraception were you using? rhythm and withdrawal
Do you know how/why it failed? lessons to be learned, lack of thoroughness in following my cycle

Did you experience any symptoms or signs of pregnancy? Breast tenderness and sensitivity especially to cold at about 3-4 wks, nausea and at 5 wk very sensitive to smells - aversion to food, but also relieved by. Feeling pre-menstrual at about 5 wks - feeling swollen in my body. Gentle cramps throughout period (as though about to bleed)

When did they start? 2nd week

How did the herbs affect you? I felt like the herbs were quite "stripping"/ depleting, though this was most likely also due to emotional drain.

Your Story -

Recorded meditations/visualization today - my own variation of relaxation - temple and relaxation - talking to being. We feel our intention has been the major factor in what happens. About 6 days after my first pregnancy test, I decided to break up with my partner. I felt that as he was not "the one" to bring this baby into the world with, that he was not "the one" ever. He was pulling away and quite absorbed with drug experiences at that time (probably his way of "coping") I saw him 2 days later and we spent the next 8 days in close contact (living and working together). This was important for us to process thoughts and feelings as they arose, and to come to a definite decision. We have only been becoming closer since.

I had a half hour acupuncture treatment at 4-5 weeks and again at 6 weeks (the night before my clinical abortion) which was incredible. He stimulated points strongly - hands and feet between thumb(big toe) and fingers. One in the center of my womb and one on each side (around ovaries?). Base of the neck - each side and below knees on outer side of lower leg. It brought up a lot of tears that gave wonderful release and clearing. I highly recommend this, as it gave me a taste of a clinical abortion but in an environment in which I felt in control and safe. It felt like I could process the sensations, magnitude and trauma of having a clinical abortion which allowed processing of the actual experience when it happened. Both my partner and I had amazing dreams during this time.

Having a clinical abortion had always been one of my greatest fears. I have had surgery only once before and swore it would never happen again - the handing over of my body, the disempowerment, the coldness. Perhaps this is the very reason my fear was brought up for me again to learn from. By the time I was due for the clinical abortion, I was so tired of "trying": that it was an utter relief. I spent a few days before - never having given up hope - in retreat. I did rituals and rested, visualized my bleeding, affirmed as much as possible. Took herbs diligently. Cried and cried. I feel the part of me that really wants a child is the part that could only let go clinically. This is the essence of why the herbs didn't work, I feel. I always felt that I was working "against" my body, even though my mind was aligned with my intention for taking the herbs.

The clinical abortion, itself, was fine. I felt that staying in my center and realizing that this was my choice really helped, as well as the time we had already allowed for emotional processing. The anaesthetist played a Louise Hay tape for me during the operation which really made the difference for me. I am now taking time with my partner to relish each other, to heal my body and rebuild my creative energies.

My advice to anyone considering herbal abortion. You can do it! Don't let others opinions sway what you know - that YOU are responsible for your body! Find the balance between control and surrender, do your very best, without exhausting or being hard on yourself. Your belief is your greatest and most powerful asset. Find support - align with those who also affirm you. Communicate with your partner, express whatever you need whenever you need to. Allow yourself to fully feel.

May this be an empowering experience for you.

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