HomeSpun - A Women's Networking Newsletter
Two men have written about their thoughts and feelings after choosing to have a vasectomy. One wishes to remain anonymous.
Alternative to CondomsI hate condoms, always have. Sex for me just isn't fun or sensual when I have to stop and put on this plastic shield. I rarely have an orgasm if I use one.
However, since I've been sexually active, I have caused two abortions that I know of, and my daughter, now 9 years old, wasn't planned. So obviously I needed some kind of birth control method.
When I met my current love of my life, we used the pull-out method at first, but waiting around for late periods was awfully hard on both of us. We decided to go to Planned Parenthood to check out the birth control alternatives. This didn't turn out to be a friendly experience for us. The women there kept telling me to wait outside during the examination. I explained that we were in this together and I wanted to be a part of it all, so they finally relented. The practitioner told us all about the methods available, but there seemed to be no method that was safe for women. I was surprised to hear this since most women I know were responsible for the birth control. I thought this was unacceptable; suddenly I blurted out that I was thinking about getting "fixed". The practitioner explained to me about the procedure and cost, but told me that Medicaid didn't cover it. She gave us the name of a local doctor and soon I'd made an appointment to see him.
The appointment began with an interview. They were most concerned about how sure I was that I didn't want children. I assured him I was through with getting women pregnant. The date for the operation was set after finding out that Medicaid did infact cover the procedure. By law, the doctor had to give me a month waiting period in case I change my mind, but the intervening weeks made no difference in my decision, and on the stated day, my partner brought me to the office.
She waited outside with my daughter, but I would suggest that your partner should be right beside you during the operation to fully appreciate what you are going through! I was scared, but I had taken a Valium before hand, which I highly recommend. Under local anaesthesia I could still feel the uncomfortable sensation of pressure during the tying off part. Yet it was much less painful than I expected, and was done with quicker than I'd thought. The most discomfort came later from these crazy nubs left after he stitched me up. This was caused by minor swelling and was gone and forgotten in a week.
There is still sperm left after the operation which needs to be removed by a certain number of ejaculations, so five days afterwards I got to work on that. Tests done six weeks after the procedure proved that I was sterile and free to have spontaneous sex with my love without worrying about unwanted pregnancies.
This was the single most important thing I ever did. I urge all men out there to do it - you will be so happy and so will your partner.
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