A Personal Story




Submitted: May 25, 2004

Shared by: Carolyn living the Netherlands

Age: 33
Weight: 275
Height: 5' 7"

Did you have a pregnancy test? Yes
When was it taken? Day 43 of my cycle.
What was the result. Positive… and fast!!

How was the pregnancy ended? Surgical abortion
Were you successful in using the herbs? No
Would you try herbs again, or recommend them to a friend in the same situation? I wouldn't dissuade anyone, but I wouldn't try them again myself.

Is there anything that clued you in that the herbs might be working before bleeding started? No

Is this your first pregnancy? Yes

How many weeks pregnant were you when the herbs were started? 3 ˝
For how many days were the herbs used (total)? 8

Were you using birth control? No
What kind/method of birth control/contraception were you using? Rhythm method
Do you know how/why it failed? I got cocky
If you were not using birth control, please share why not. I have had PCOS since I was 17. In the last 6 months, I have been using The Donna ovulation tester, with lots of success. For some reason, I had sex right before the 11th day, which is when I have ovulated in the past. I had just moved on Feb. 1st to Holland from the US, and I can only say that I was completely out of my mind! The stress was immense, and we were going 24/7, and having sex all the time as well. And I was just stupid. We both were.

Did you experience any symptoms or signs of pregnancy? Weird cramping that started about one week before I took the pregnancy test. It was different than anything I had felt before. Sort of a rumbling, twinging cramping on both sides. I will NEVER forget that feeling in my life, and will know instantly what it is next time, if ever, I feel it. Also sore breasts. They always get sore with PMS, but this was INSANE pain! Also burning and tingling in the breasts. Again, a feeling I never had before and will never forget or misinterpret for something else.

Please include a summary of dosage information. I started with 12 grams of vitamin C every 24 hours, with doses of 1,000 mg every two hours. And also took Dong Quai every 4 hours in doses of 1,000 mg (5 200 mg capsules)

I had trouble finding 1,000 mg tablet without the bioflavins which was frustrating as the only other dosage I could find was 60 mg tablets. A LOT to swallow every 2 hours. It was a major bummer. I switched to the 1,000 mg effervescent tablets after about 3 days.

side effects: Nausea, nausea and more nausea. Ironically, I didn't feel sick when I was just pregnant. The herbs make me feel awful. I’m not sure if it was JUST the herbs, but I couldn't hardly eat anything, had NO energy, I literally felt like I was poisoning myself. Which I guess, technically, I was.

other comments: it was a horrible 8 days. Besides all the pregnancy symptoms such as sore breasts, the nausea was almost too much to bear. I never vomited, but I could not function. I am glad I did not have to work, because I don’t think I could have done it. I could barely take care of basic things like shopping and such.

Any positive effects? None, other than feeling hopeful that I was taking things into my own hands.
Where there any negative effects? Sickness, sadness.
Do you have any health problems or issues? No. other than being overweight and the PCOS I am amazingly healthy.

If yes, do you think it had any affect on the way the herbs affected you? I think actually I was too strong to do this. I could almost feel the fetus burrowing each day further into me, and tried to “release it”, but felt I was just too strong.

How did being pregnant make you feel physically? Nauseous, tired, no appetite.

Could you reflect on the process of a herbal abortion? I think it's a great resource, but it just wasn't for me. I thank you for making this info available. You are one of the ONLY online resources I could find. Thank you.


Your Story –
I was very hopeful for it to work. I knew that maybe I had started it a bit too late (into week 3), but I was still hopeful. I took hot baths, did some visualization, and lots of crying. It was very very difficult to continue the herbs after about the 4th day, just because I felt so damn sick, I couldn't function. I also felt really bad about slowly trying to kill this thing inside me, and this was a very vivid feeling. I THOUGHT THAT IT WAS CRUEL. I can’t describe it any better than that. I felt like a monster, killing this being. I tried to reconcile myself to the fact that I could not have this baby, that it was not time. I even asked it to go to my friend back home instead, that she could take care of him. But slowly I really felt like a monster and realized that a quick surgical abortion was a better way to deal with this. I felt sick. I felt terrible. I couldn't fathom why I would do this to myself. I embraced the idea of herbal abortion, and still think it’s fine if someone wants to try it. But for me, I was surprised that I felt this way after a while, that I felt like it was cruel.

Now don’t get me wrong. I am not religious and fervently agree on a woman’s right to choose, so I didn't have any moral or religious reasons for feeling bad. But I couldn't help recognizing this as my child. I love my boyfriend. I have WANTED a child with him, but it happened at the most WRONG time. We had just moved to another country and neither of us had work or knew what the future would bring. And deep down, I just really felt that I didn't want this child. I am too selfish still, and want to wander around some more before I settle down. I wanted it out of me. I wanted to feel well again. My breasts hurt SO much, I had NO sex drive (which is really odd for me), I couldn't eat anything, it sucked! It was the worst feeling. The burning tingling breasts just freaked me out. My body was doing things that I was not accustomed to. I didn't feel in control of my own body and I didn't like it.

If it happened again, if I got pregnant again and could not have it, I would NOT try herbal abortion again. It was just too emotionally painful and physically draining. All the waiting, all the not knowing, the perceived control… I actually felt LESS in control because I could feel my body taking care of this thing. I had no control. When I finally called an made the appointment for the surgical abortion (which are very well done here in the Netherlands), I felt a wave of relief. The abortion itself was quick, painless (except for cramps afterwards for a few days), and they even will put in an IUD for you during the procedure. It was a fine experience, and I was pleasantly surprised. I felt SO much better afterwards. There was a week or so of depression and crying, regret, and lots of chocolate eating as well, but mainly I was relieved!

I think I mainly tried the herbs for financial reasons. The abortion took our last 300 euros! (we've since found work and are financial sound… ironic, huh?) But given the opportunity (the WRONG word) again, I would just go to the professionals to take care of this. They are the ones who know what to do. I am not a medical professional. There are just some things better left in other’s hands. Thanks for listening, and I wish all of you the best of luck in whatever you choose.

PLEASE VOTE AND PRESERVE OUR RIGHT TO CHOOSE! :)

Is there anything you would have done differently? Well, I can't change anything now, so I am not big on "what ifs". I did what I did. End of story.

There are many lessons that can be learned from an experience such as this, Do you feel you have learned something from this experience? If so what? I learned a lot about myself. That I really DIDN'T want a child like I always thought. That I am equally strong and frail. Women are amazing in that respect.






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